Why New Year’s Resolutions Rarely Work

Every January, we’re handed the same message: Decide who you want to be. Commit now. Push through. Change your life. Figure it out now, so that this new year will be the year you finally...

And every year, many of us quietly feel the same resistance. Not because we lack discipline. Not because we don’t want change. But because something in us knows: this is not the season for forcing forward motion. In nature, winter is a time of dormancy, rest, and recalibration. Roots deepen. Energy pulls inward. Life is conserving itself.

This mismatch is one of the reasons New Year’s resolutions so often fail—not because we’re “bad at follow-through,” but because we’re trying to plant seeds and/or bloom in frozen ground. During a time of year when the days are shorter, we generally have less energy, and are feeling a deep desire for rest and reflection.

When we push ourselves to make sweeping changes during a season meant for listening, we often end up feeling:

• discouraged when motivation fades

• ashamed when consistency wavers

• disconnected from our own inner rhythm

And none of that actually supports real, lasting change.

What Winter Is Actually Meant For

I am not suggesting that we let go of all of our desires and hibernate, left to rot on the couch consuming countless hours of Netflix (although there is no judgement if this is how you want to spend your time, it may also leave you feeling the same ways you feel when pushing through). Because winter is not passive. It’s deeply active on the inside.

It’s a season for:

• taking stock of what has ended

• grieving what didn’t unfold as hoped

• sensing what wants to emerge next—without rushing it

• tending to our nervous systems after long periods of holding and effort

This is especially true if you’re in a life transition.

And so many people are.

Endings. Beginnings. Identity shifts. Career changes. Relationship changes. Losses that don’t have neat language yet. Quiet knowing that “something isn’t the same anymore,” even if you can’t fully name what’s next.

So of course, the New Year's Resolutions seem to come at a perfect time. We are feeling a big unsure about the next step in our lives, and more often than not, there is an inclination to escape this liminal space, that often seems to stretch on longer than we would like (especially up here in Canada). How many of us hop on a plane seeking sunshine and warmer temps, rather than sitting in the quiet stillness that winter often provides? Continuing to keep up with the hustle and bustle of city life, rather than seeking solace in the darkness?

The thing is, if we only became more comfortable with the season of winter, my guess is that we would actually give ourselves the proper rest and time for reflection, so that we had the capacity to bring our visions to fruition over the following seasons. How do I know this?

Learning to orient my life around seasons—both external and internal—has been quietly transformative for me. I used to override my own signals constantly. I treated low energy as a problem to solve. I tried to make decisions from urgency instead of attunement. I measured progress almost exclusively by output.

Seasonal work taught me how to:

• recognize when I’m in a winter (no matter what the external season was), and stop negotiating with that truth

• let rest and reflection be productive, not indulgent

• trust that clarity emerges through presence, not pressure

• make changes that are integrated, not reactionary

Over time, this shifted not just how I work, but how I relate to myself. There is more trust now. More patience. More self-respect. And paradoxically, when it is time to move—when spring arrives internally—I have far more energy and clarity available.

If this winter finds you feeling tender, uncertain, or in between versions of yourself, I want you to know: nothing is wrong with you.

You may not need a resolution. You may not need a plan. You may need space. Time to reflect. Rest. Recalibrate. Trusting that you can honour the liminal space and this season that is asking you to go slowly.

Unsure how to do so? If you are feeling the need for support on your journey (please note that the season of winter does not mean you need to isolate), I would love to connect. There are a few ways I support clients navigating the seasons of life, so feel free to book in a Discovery Session so we can chat and see what may be most supportive for you.

Chat soon,

Laura