We’re Taught to Suppress Our Emotions — but it's Time to Reclaim Them

We live in a culture that has taught us to suppress and hide our emotions. From the time we are little, we hear messages like: “Don’t cry,” “Calm down,” “Be good.”  We learn that certain feelings — like joy or happiness — are welcome, while others — anger, grief, fear — are seen as too much, too messy, too inconvenient.

Although this shows up for men, I'm going to be speaking from the perspective of a woman. Because yes, there are ways in which men have been told to shut down their emotions (especially anger because it's too scary for others), but I am currently taking space to acknowledge the experience of a woman walking in this world.

And for women, I've noticed this conditioning runs especially deep. Most certainly during a time where we are showing up in the workforce, although this goes all the way back in time...so let's go way back. To see how deeply rooted this belief that something is wrong with women when they are anxious, exhausted, or overwhelmed is.

Take a moment and close your eyes...and just notice the image that comes up when you think of the word hysterical. My brain automatically shows a woman "freaking out" and "being emotional". Coincidence? I think not.

The very word hysteria comes from the Greek hystera, meaning womb. For centuries, doctors claimed that women’s emotional expressions, mood changes, or physical symptoms were caused by a “wandering womb.” If a woman was anxious, irritable, fainting, or even simply desiring more from life, she might be diagnosed with hysteria.

By the 19th century, hysteria had become one of the most common medical diagnoses for women. The list of “symptoms” was so broad it included everything from sadness and fatigue to sexual desire or restlessness — essentially, anything that didn’t fit neatly into the roles society expected of us. The so-called treatments ranged from enforced bed rest and isolation to institutionalization, pelvic massages, and even hysterectomies.

This label didn’t heal women — it silenced them. It dismissed their experiences and reinforced the narrative that women are irrational, overly emotional, and in need of control. And even though “hysteria” is no longer a medical diagnosis today, its legacy lingers. How often are women still told they are “too emotional,” “overreacting,” or “just hormonal”?

This history shows us how deeply ingrained it is to look inside women for the problem, rather than at the conditions around them. It’s the same as blaming the seed instead of tending to the soil.

But you are not broken. You are not too much. Your emotions are not flaws — they are signals, guiding you toward what you need to thrive.

Our emotions have historically been used against us, dismissed as irrational or untrustworthy, resulting in many of us internalizing the belief that if we want to be taken seriously, we must keep our emotions under wraps. At work, at home, even in our relationships, we put on a mask of calm while so much brews beneath the surface.

But here’s the truth: suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just buries them deeper, disconnecting us from the very wisdom they hold. Emotions are signals — like the soil and sunlight in a garden, they tell us what conditions we’re living in and what we need to thrive. When we suppress them, we also suppress our intuition, creativity, and life force.

So often, the women I work with come to me believing there’s something wrong with them because they are anxious, exhausted, or overwhelmed. But there is nothing wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with you. What’s happening is that you’ve been carrying the weight of systems and expectations that were never designed for your thriving.

The path back isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about listening more deeply. It’s about allowing those emotions to surface, expressing them safely, and letting them guide you back to your truth.

✨ If you are ready to stop suppressing and start listening, if you want to tune back into your intuition and reclaim the wisdom of your emotions, I would love to support you. Reach out to me, and let’s walk this journey together.