What is Lifestyle Design? Ever notice how the word DESIGNER brings up the image of home designers, clothing designers, and graphic designers (to name a few)? This got me thinking…how interesting that we live in a world in which we invest so many dollars in our external environments, and then don’t give much thought to the LIFE WE ARE DESIGNING through our daily habits and patterns. The life we are creating through our thought patterns, emotional states and dreams that we have.
Most people live a life designed by their society, culture and family. It is so easy to go with the flow of the external world, because human beings are hardwired to seek a sense of belonging and fit in. Following the latest trends on social media, purchasing the latest designer brands, looking to the external world for who we should be.
This comes with absolutely no judgement. I can relate. I HAVE BEEN THERE. Trying to squeeze myself into a life that didn’t fit. Checking all of the boxes. Climbing the way up the corporate ladder, buying a house, shopping for clothes that would make me look good so I could go to events where I would get drunk to NUMB THE DISCONNECT I felt from the life I had created. In reality, I never truly felt like I fit in or belong, because I wasn't living a life that FELT AUTHENTIC to me. I found myself doing ‘the work' on myself so that the boy would pick me, so we could get married and start a family. I even invested in a personal development course with the goal of ‘making myself better for my boyfriend.’ Yep, I used to be that girl. Until I let go of the parts of my life that didn’t fit.
I came back to the younger version of myself who used to question everything. The little girl who didn’t settle for ‘because I said so’ from her parents, and needed an explanation. At a young age, this part of myself expressed as a rebellious and independent child (sorry Mom and Dad), but as a 30 year old, it suddenly became the woman who was willing to question the societal norms she had been conditioned by, and ask whether it was actually the path that she wanted to be on. What did this woman realize?
She craved ADVENTURE. But again, she had always believed that she needed the partner to travel. Especially growing up in a prairie province, all of her friends were married or in committed relationships, most with children and focused on family vacations. Who was she to travel alone? How would she ever meet a partner, if she continued doing all of these things by herself? These are only some of the thoughts and FEARS that kept her feeling stuck. But she wanted it so much…and had just gone through the most heart wrenching breakup of her life…so…off she went to Europe, hoping to build up the COURAGE to explore the world of solo travel, not realizing just how pivotal this decision would be in the rest of her life.
Why do I share this story with you? It’s now 10 years later, and through the past decade, I have been designing my own life, not according to the societal norms, but rather by looking at my life and building one based off of my dreams, values, beliefs, passion and purpose. Being aware of the conditioning, and noticing when it creeps in. I won’t pretend that it goes away, because there is both internal conditioning to re-pattern, and ways to deal with external pressure from other people’s opinions (and believe me, people love sharing their opinions when you go against the grain).
And yet, I have continued to design a life that is authentic to me. To take solo trips. Move across the world by myself at 36. Move back to Canada during the pandemic and enrol in school at 38. Start my own business at 40. And most importantly? I am constantly creating a day-to-day lifestyle that I don’t need to escape from.
Now I’m on a mission to start sharing what I've learned along the way, so that I can support others. To hold space for YOU along your journey and provide guidance as you DESIGN YOUR OWN LIFE. One that feels WILDLY AUTHENTIC. Helping you take a look at the areas of your life and gain CLARITY and CREATE a life that feels good on the inside, rather than one that looks good on the outside.
As Oprah says, “The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” So let’s start the adventure and design your LIFE. It’s both too long and too short for you to not be an active participant in creating one that FEELS GOOD!
