The Power of Self-Leadership in Challenging Conversations

The Transformative Power of Self-Leadership in Challenging Conversations

We all face challenging conversations and conflicts in our lives, and how we navigate them can have a profound impact on our relationships and personal growth. In my work as a Counsellor and Coach, I often teach people tools for communicating, including how to identify their needs and feelings and express them in ways that won’t cause a situation to escalate. However, it is also important to ensure that we are having these conversations from a place of connection to the Self. No matter how compassionately we are able to communicate, we cannot always guarantee that it will be received well from others. And then what do we do?

This past week, I found myself in a series of challenging situations that forced me to confront the internal parts of myself. Through these experiences, I was reminded of the importance of allowing myself to come back to the Self before continuing the conversation to properly resolve conflicts and foster personal growth.

Part of my purpose is to normalize the human experience and challenges we all face, which goes without saying that even those of us who have the tools still experience the challenges of conflict that inevitably come with being in relationship with others. I would love to share some of what helped me shift from a state of disconnect to connection and repair.

• Self-Reflection: Before engaging in conversation, I took a moment for self-reflection. This included connecting with my inner Self and checking in with any emotions and intentions present.

• Active Listening: I did my best to practice active listening by genuinely paying attention to what the other person was saying, without immediately formulating a response.

• Emotional Awareness: I was aware of emotional triggers that arose during the conversation and managed them from a place of Self-compassion. Understand that we all have parts that get activated, and that’s ok!

• Pause and Breathe: When I noticed myself getting reactive, I paused and took a breath. This simple act can help return to a state of Self-leadership.

• Seek Common Ground: I spent time focusing on finding common ground and shared values, rather than dwelling on differences.

Notice that I didn’t say anything about shifting the other person and trying to get them to do anything. By approaching these conversations from a space of Self-leadership, we can transform the way we interact with others and ourselves. By recognizing our OWN internal parts and choosing to lead from the Self, we pave the way for more authentic, empathetic, and harmonious conversations that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.

Will this happen automatically and every time? Absolutely not. It’s a practice that takes time to shift the way we are used to communicating. And, the benefit is more authentic relationships that can lead to healing and personal growth. We are able to come to relationship with a more open-hearted approach, which can be felt by the Self of others.

Ready to explore how you can communicate with express yourSELF from this place? I would love to support you on this journey of discovery and connection. Book in a Discovery Session with me today!