Are you feeling stuck or lost in life? If so, I have an important follow up question. When is the last time you did something that was out of your comfort zone? Perhaps you are in a job that doesn’t fulfill you, or you feel like you’re in a rut with your daily routine. It can be easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you’re “stuck” in a certain situation, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to CREATE CHANGE in your life. Recognizing that you’re feeling stuck is the first step in making intentional choices that move you closer to the lifestyle that you desire.
The process of Lifestyle Design requires you to push the edges of your comfort zone. Of course, stepping out of your COMFORT ZONE can be scary. Who has seen the image where there is the circle of where you are at, and then everything else is so far outside of the circle that it feels unattainable? I’m here to tell you that while although there are times you may want to take these big leaps in life, sometimes it’s best to just step slightly over the edge. But how do you determine what is too far outside, and what is your fear keeping you safe?
You see, as humans, we have this innate desire to stay safe. Hence, the comfort zone. Even though we may not like it there, it is familiar. We also have a nervous system, that is trying to maintain homeostasis, and our personal window of tolerance which can be impacted by trauma and stress. When we are trying to push out of the comfort zone, our body can actually send us into a panicked state and/or completely shut down and prevent us from moving. Anyone relate?
You may be wondering why I titled this blog post ‘How Bungee Jumping Helped Me Follow My Heart’. Or maybe you didn’t notice the title, and that’s ok too. Either way, it’s story time. Rewind to July 20, 2020 when I was about to board a plane from New Zealand and fly all of the way to Paris, France. Why? I had decided to do something rarely done in my life, and follow my heart. I was TERRIFIED. I mean, what if (insert a few weeks of journal entries of worries and ways that it would’t work out) came true? So many FEARS to move through. But I also had a bigger question of ‘what if it did work out, and I never took the leap’. I would have regretted that choice.
Ok, so now that the decision was made, I had to find a way to settle my nerves. To regulate my nervous system so that it would feel more comfortable flying during the middle of a pandemic to a foreign country to be reunited with my love. I’ll save you from waiting until the end to let you know that it did not work out in the end (however, it will most certainly be an important chapter in my life). I had to do a lot of work to get to the point where I could even book the ticket. I leaned on my support system (of people who were excited for me). I made sure to take care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally in the process. I tuned into myself regularly to ask what would best support me throughout the journey. And I went bungee jumping. Yep. I decided that in order to access the courage to jump on a plane and leave a country I loved, I would go bungee jumping to show myself that the UNIVERSE HAD MY BACK.
And guess what? It worked. I had such an immense sense of COURAGE that came from that experience. It taught me that I could change my mind at any time. That if, and when I was ready to take the leap, I would have the rope to support me after the initial free fall. That I COULD DO HARD THINGS. I could go on with the quotes from Gabby Bernstein and Glennon Doyle, who definitely pop into my mind from time to time throughout these processes of expansion.
Now for the tips that you can incorporate into your life. Number one. It is important to regulate your nervous system so that you can approach life situations with a calm and clear mindset. There is so much focus on nervous system regulation lately, that I sometimes worry people think it’s intended to keep you safe and calm and hiding in bed where you feel safe and calm. But no. It’s so that YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY EXPRESSED. You can do this through deep breathing, meditation, movement, tapping, therapy… the list goes on. Side note: I can support you in exploring the tools that best support you in this process. And, you can also do something that is challenging, to help you realize that YOU ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE OF MOVING THROUGH THE FEAR. Being afraid is a natural part of growth and change. It doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong if you feel the fear. It actually may mean that you’re doing something right.
Number two. Having a support system around is also very important. This can be friends, family, or a coach or mentor. Basically anyone that is there to support and encourage you while you face your challenges and feel unsure of yourself. Or, in the case of bungee jumping, having the harness and gear attached so that you know you are safe.
An important reminder that not everyone will always support your decisions. Just ask my Mom about her reaction when I told her I was flying to Paris. This is where it can be important to stay true to your own values and vision, even when others don’t understand or agree with them. It’s natural to seek approval from others, but ultimately, the only approval that truly matters is your own.
Number three. HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE ADVENTURE. When it comes to lifestyle design, it’s important to remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. That you will have many opportunities to step (or leap) outside of your comfort zone, and will continuously be learning to regulate yourself and move through the fears that arise. Over time, these steps will add up to the life that feels like you are truly living. Are you ready to get unstuck? I would be honoured to go on the journey of Lifestyle Design with you.
